Get your mind out of the gutter: ‘Diamond Jubilee’ is not here to give you a lap dance. Instead, tip your hat(s) to history and consider dressing as Queen Elizabeth for Halloween this year.
2012 represents 60 years’ of Her Majesty’s reign, hyped as her ‘diamond jubilee.’ The People’s Republic of China, the VW Bug and the Polaroid camera also came to power about 60 years ago, but finding the props for a Queen Elizabeth costume is infinitely easier. As a national symbol, the Queen of England is legally unisex. So don’t worry about gender when selecting this theme for your costume.
Coming as royalty for Halloween this year doesn’t mean having to send 45,000 Christmas cards, as the Queen reportedly does. Instead, start by finding a corgi to accompany you out. The Queen has owned more than 30 corgis during her reign, and currently keeps three at the palace. Marshal your friends to follow you admiringly, and refer to this parade as ‘Trooping the Color’ in the manner of the queen.
Once you have your corgi and your entourage, you can choose which queen style suites you best.
1) Traditional Queen: a dowdy pastel dress, topped with a three-strand pearl necklace and a large hat. Decorate the hat with random ribbons, tchotchkes and stuffed animals found around the home for a typical British look.
2) God Save the Queen: show everyone that punk is not dead. Download the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee seal here and draw it on your arm as a tattoo. A safety pin in one ear, 20-hole Doc Martin boots and a ripped tank top provide the base of the look. Spitting and moshing are optional, but encouraged.
3) Drag Queen: same as #1, but with huge stiletto heels, fake DD breasts and a butt-length weave.
4) Queen Queen: same as #1, but accompanied by “Bohemian Rhapsody” throughout the evening.
If done correctly, this costume may earn you another 60 years of notoriety.