Lets face it, the MTV Video Music Awards would be pretty boring without Lady Gaga. Every year it turns into the same dragged-out affair–with lengthy monotone speeches filled with has-beens and people who paid scalpers big bucks to get in. Fortunately, we can always count on Lady Gaga for a performance that will snap us out of our autotune-addled stupor.
So, if you haven’t yet heard, Lady Gaga appeared at the 2011 VMAs as her male alter-ego, Jo Calderone. Apparently, “Jersey Shore” did not exceed the network’s quota of Italian men in Armani suits and facial stubble, so Jo Calderone stepped in to fill that gap. If you can’t come to Halloween as the enemy of your enemy, perhaps coming as Lady Gaga’s alter ego is the answer. US Weekly claims Gaga wore a prosthetic penis for her performance, but we’ll leave that between you and your Calvins. If you’re considering doning a Jo Calderone costume this year, read on.
Costume accessories include:
a lit cigarette (optional)
No one will judge you for not breaking out the Armani, so buy your suit at the thrift shop. Get an open blazer top and straight leg pants. Try and find something a little bit baggy if you can. A plain white t-shirt goes underneath.
Pompadour wigs that closely match Mr. Calderone’s hairstyle can cost as little as $10 online, but you might want to add a bit of hair gel to give it a slightly “greasier” look. The stubble is pretty easy to simulate. Crepe wool, available at costume stores, or even small bits of the wig can be used. Be sure to cut the pieces very small, ideally shorter than 1/8″. Using spirit gum as an adhesive, wash your face with soap and then apply the gum in the areas you want the stubble. Allow the gum to dry for around a minute until it becomes tacky and sticky to touch, then apply the stubble hair lightly to the area. The hair can be “groomed” gently with a clean mascara wand or fine tooth comb if necessary.
Light your cigarette, pour yourself a glass of cognac and let your inner car mechanic from Sicily take over. Singing “You & I” at the party will help distinguish your costume from that of the poor fool dressed like Duran Duran or Chaz Bono.
Check out our other Lady Gaga costume ideas.