You’d like to dress like a crazy celebrity, but all of your Scientology clothes are dirty. Well, now is the perfect time to break out your Charlie Sheen outfit! When you dress like Sheen the Machine, you don’t let the standards of everyday mortals get you down.
The base for a Charlie Sheen Halloween costume is deceptively simple: a bowling shirt, shorts and sunglasses. (Bonus: you can re-use the bowling shirt for a Big Lebowski tribute later on.) It’s really the attitude that makes the difference. Make sure your sunglasses have dark tint and wide sides; embroidering “Winning” in place of your name on the bowling shirt is also a good idea.
For the hair, keep it short but tousled, with a few locks hanging over the forehead on each side. If you have lighter colored hair, some dark brown (almost black) dye will make your ‘do look more authentic. Better yet, find a short, black wig and trim with some scissors to get the look you want.
Since can’t is the cancer of happen, you’ll need some substances to give your Sheen costume authenticity. Little plastic bags filled with mysterious substances- baking soda, baby powder- hanging out of every pocket go nicely with a fedora.
Ideally, a pair of hot goddesses can accompany you for the evening, but if you can’t locate this team effort, making reference to leaving them home with the kids will work almost as well.
Tiger Blood in Your Veins
Acting out in an extreme way is an integral part of any Charlie Sheen costume. Remember, the goal is not bipolar, it is bi-winning. Carry a book titled “Apocalypse Me” under your arm- a homemade cover for a hardback will suffice- with the byline “Carlos Estévez.” Since the character of Charlie Sheen has a Jewish mother and a Hispanic name, feel free to make remarks involving both those groups with impunity.
Remember: Charlie Sheen doesn’t get Facebook likes: he gets authentic thumbs in the upright position mailed to him, congratulating him on his greatness. Embody the spirit, live the dream.